studyabroad – DU Abroad

It has felt like such a whirlwind since being back in the US. But now that it has been a solid length of time, I feel like I can come on here and fully reflect.

Comparing Italy and Spain is like comparing apples to oranges. Yes there are similar aspects, but both of my experiences were very different, for many reasons. The first question people asked me when I returned to the US was: “which place was your favorite?”… but truthfully, I cannot answer this question. Both countries and programs brought me different experiences and wonderful memories. So here are some of those feelings and experiences broken down.

If I’m being honest, Barcelona is probably one of my favorite European cities. I am so filled with gratitude to have gotten to know it and its beauty over a short 10 week time. I am so grateful to have lived in a lively, historic, beautifully designed, buzzing city. I loved hearing Spanish and Catalan, as well as learning more about Catalan history and culture. Having a connection to the language and being able to understand everyday aspects, from stores, to conversations in the street, to ordering in restaurants in Spanish, was a reminder about the importance of learning other languages. It also immensely connected me to my environment and the Spanish culture. Making it feel both so foreign and yet not far from home. Let’s just say that if someone asked me if I wanted to drop everything and move to Barcelona, I probably would. I miss speaking in Spanish and the fast paced yet easy going Spaniard living. I loved living nearby the ocean for the first time in my life, but still being near hills and mountains. I feel like the location of Spain is so ideal, and the geography is truly special. I could spend years just exploring Spain, from the costal villages, to mediaeval pueblos, to new ever sprawling cities, Spain has so much to offer. I have made it my goal to return and do the Camino de Santiago. Spain reminded me the importance of language, history, art, community, socialization, and the art of taking it easy, without missing out on a fast paced world. The academics in Spain were quite good, I had one of my all time favorite professors for a Spanish Lit class, and an absolute genius, philanthropic computer science professor. Reminding me how most everything in the world comes back to art, literature and shared community. So thank you Barcelona for the 1,500,000 (approx) steps of exploration, sightseeing, Long Beach sunset contemplations, and quiet solo time. Until next time, I miss you already.

Now Florence,

Florence holds a special place in my heart. I will admit while I was in Barcelona I often found myself missing aspects of life in Italy. Which caught me off gaurd because I didn’t really anticipate that feeling. I missed the Italian intensity, ordering at a cafe in the only Italian I knew, saying “allora”, produce and resturants, but mostly I missed my classes, photography professors and jewelry professor. The art classes in Florence were quite unmatched. From a wax casting jewelry making class with a lively fiery Brazilian professor, who spoke English, Spanish, Italian, and Portuguese, to the photography studios and long classes. I miss my food photography professor dearly, he often took us on what I would call culture walks, rather than photography walks. Teaching us about gastronomy, wine, food, the stories of local vendors and restaurants, and how to capture a clean professional food content photo. It was wonderful learning and developing film in a dark room for my fashion photography. Fun fact! The photography classes I took in Florence were my first formal photography classes and education! I love the surrounding hills of Florence so much. I hope I never forget the magic of my last day in Florence, wandering through a forested section of the hills above Florence I had never been to. The way the light came through the cypress trees, truly one of the most ethereal experiences in nature I have had. Florence brought my the expansive often frustrating solo travel and train experiences. Looking back I feel like I truly was someone else in my time there; traveling around solo to other countries at the drop of a hat, almost every weekend, without a second thought. Building many skills in dealing with adversity, cross culture communication, and resourcefulness. One of my favorite places in earth is the Dolomites. The mountains will forever be one of the most awe inspiring, humbling, and grounding places for me. After taking the train, solo, through northern Italy and Austria in the middle of a snowy fall night, I was struck with the magic of the landscape. The magic that has inspired so much art and literature, I truly felt the power of the landscape and understood why so many fairytales stemmed from these areas. Inspiring me to remember to find a place that inspires me, or an environment that I find value in- and not to waste time chasing places or superficial aspects of life.

People often focus on the career application takeaways of studying abroad, and push aside the personal. But I truly believe that your personal experiences, whether big or small, which shaped your time in another culture is what builds those career applicable skills.

First adaptability, adapting to life at a new university, with new people, in a new culture and language is not an easy task. You are learning how to navigate and communicate with people again; and when accustomed communication methods fail, you turn to resourcefulness to succeed in your new environment. Leading into communication, luckily modern day technology has made this language barrier easier to overcome. However it can still be a clunky experience that often needs some improvisation.

Each country has a different development and stability level. Learning how to plan ahead and be aware of this is key to success in travel and safety. As well as understanding how other cultures communicate needs and how corporations are built. Much travel chaos occurred in Italy during my time there during the (frequent) strikes. This left workers taking advantage of people, and all levels of order out the window. Panic buying and long lines ensued. As well as the inhibilty to find anyone to help you. Learning not to panic in high stress and uncertain times, will lead to better self management and money management. Recourse-fullness and having or finding backup plans was a big key takeaway and learning how to swim against the current to get yourself where you need to be. Taking your own route, stopping, observing, figuring out options and not following the herd.

Intercultural communication, trends, art, history, and language. All intertwined aspects of culture and cross cultural understanding.

Studying abroad for most of this past year, I have immersed myself in creative industries, culture, and entrepreneurship. I practiced translating storytelling into visuals that connect across cultures. My time studying abroad was truly the most invaluable, cherished experience of my life. I spent around 4 months in Florence and 3 in Barcelona.

While in Italy I was able to immerse myself into a new culture and language. Which was a wonderful experience, that taught me so many lessons in adaptability and inter cultural communication. It was also a joy to return to Spain. Knowing the language and being able to deeply connect with Barcelona culture and locals was the best experience.

From communicating in my daily life in Spanish, to taking a Spanish literature class where I learned about Catalan culture was an excellent sharpening of my Spanish skills and knowledge.

While abroad I made it my goal to take full advantage of my time and opportunities from travel, to academics, networking and photography.

While in Florence I was able to take in depth, time intensive, photography and art classes. I had the opportunity to develop my technical skills and creative eye. From studio shoots, to creating editorial content and presentation all were wonderful opportunities. I was able to develop my own stylized creative concepts, and direct photo shoots. I learned how to develop film and about the unmatchable quality it offers. Including the opportunity to shoot for a luxury Italian chocolate brand through my professor.

I also traveled to Milan for fashion week where I was credentialed to photograph. My photos were then featured on the fashion brand’s social media.

On my free time I spent time taking solo trips and meeting individuals from across the world. Including meeting local artists in Florence and Barcelona. I developed personal photo project rooted in the local craftsman community, designed custom jewelry pieces inspired by Italian craftsmanship, and balanced my studies in fine arts, business, and media with hands-on creative work.

Living abroad pushed me to adapt quickly, communicate across languages, and push my creativity. Being able to focus on photography and develop my portfolio was a highlight of my time.

As I look ahead, I’m excited to bring this global, artistic, and cultural-centered perspective into new opportunities.

When I was a child, it was always my dream to travel the world. No matter where I went or what I would do, I wanted a career that would allow me to travel and see the places I would read about in novels or see in movies.

Growing up in a small town, you know everything and everyone around you, existing in a tiny bubble of comfort that most people are scared to break. I felt trapped, a caged bird hoping to flap my wings one day as I was meant to do. I wanted to break the bubble, float into the gravity of the unknown and make my own sense of the world. The world’s greatest navigator, neither Don Quixote nor Marco Polo would have anything on me.

Though, now that I am older and am actually experiencing the world, sometimes I find myself wanting to be that small girl again, yearning for her magic carpet to whisk her away and show her a whole new world.

Sometimes, the world isn’t always what it seems. It’s scary; facing the unknown head on is a terrifying experience that many people–myself included–hate doing. As much as I dreaded it, sometimes I wish I was in that small town again, knowing what to do and say and knowing the people around me, protecting myself from the judgement of those who don’t know me.

Growing up is hard. Especially in your 20s. Everyone says your 20s are where you find yourself, but why? Why is there a timetable to self-discovery? I left my hometown to learn more about myself and the world, yet I only have a certain amount of time to do so? So much pressure for someone who has barely lived life.

That girl who wanted to travel is still there; she never quite left. But her dreams became more realistic the older she became. No more flying carpets, Doraemon robots, or fairy dust, but rather an expensive desire in an even more expensive world. Expenses come with age, I’ve found.

There is no denying that I have been having the time of my life here, but there are times where I fear that maybe–just maybe–it will be a waste of time and money. Is that just the ‘low income’ talking? Maybe. But I can never shake off the fear of financial instability.

Being able to study abroad without financial worries because of scholarships has been a blessing, and one I will not take for granted. And yet, I still wish I had it all and nothing all at once. I have always felt imposter syndrome, but I have made a brand new definition here as I learn about all of the things I never knew or never will.

They say your 20s are your time for self exploration, but they are also times of self comparison. I constantly find myself comparing myself to everyone around me; my friends, my peers, strangers. Not only in regard to skills, but with looks, ability to fit in, anything and everything becomes a competition in my mind. I even question if my friends are even actually my friends and are instead simply tolerating me because of these downcast periods.

I know this is unhealthy, but as a first-generation student sometimes I feel as though I am undeserving of my accomplishments, especially if others are better or smarter or have more friends.

These feelings become particularly amplified in a new space, like now. When I do not have the comfort or support system as readily available as I did before, it’s difficult to get out of those ruts whenever they occur. I have been learning how to combat these feelings, but sometimes they overwhelm me and cause long depressive episodes.

I won’t lie to you guys: it hasn’t been all sunshine and rainbows. It has been so exhilarating embracing Japan in all of its glory and all that it has to offer, but even the brightest days become dark and cold. The excitement of having and participating in a new experience forms an all too perfect union with the fear and anxiety of not knowing what to expect. I want to step out of my comfort zone, but my anxiety continuously keeps me in a loop of sticking to the same routine out of a desire for normalcy in a place with so much uncertainty.

Growing up is risky. Being an adult is risky. Learning new things is risky. And, as my therapist would likely tell you, risks are one of the scariest things I face. I’m so afraid of the failure that I end up pausing and, as a result, diminishing myself for the sake of safety.

But risks are okay. I know that. I just have to become okay with it.

Slowly but surely, I have developed my own methods for protecting myself and my mind when I am down in the dumps.

Allow yourself to feel it. You feel as though you are ungrateful for being sad or whatever emotion you are feeling, but emotions are the most human thing we can experience. Regardless of what it may be, being emotional is not a crime. You don’t have to push yourself down when you feel this way, for it is a natural consequence of life and humanity.

Instead, indulge in things you know will distract you or uplift your mood, even slightly. I personally like to go on walks and find a coffee shop to relax, but I also have days where I simply bed rot and doom scroll on TikTok. Both are okay. Your methods of coping are not any less valid if they are less ‘productive’ than someone else’s.

Productivity =/= validity. Who cares if you are laying in your PJs with a pizza and watching a movie if it provides you joy? Most people don’t, and neither should you. Never deny yourself to feel the presence of joy, regardless of how productive it may or may not make you feel.

Studying abroad is both the most memorable experience you will have, and consecutively the scariest. These conflicting things are no doubt going to cause intense emotions, but I am coming to learn that it is okay to feel both.

I came to Japan thinking I would have to improve myself, and I have! There are many aspects of my life that have improved from being here just for the short amount of time that I have.

However, I have come to learn that there are simply some things that are okay just as they are: don’t fix what isn’t broken, for better words.

Take in the view, listen to your mind, and breathe. It is always okay to breathe.

A sparrow in the sakura blossoms, a reminder that Spring is coming; you just have to look up.

–

I got a bit vulnerable today, but if spilling my guts is helpful to even one person, it will have been worth it.

Thank you all for reading, and I will see you in another post!

Tag: studyabroad

Reflecting on my time in Florence and Barcelona

Growing Pains: On Navigating Depression and Imposter Syndrome While Abroad