Tag: globaled

I’m Going Abroad! Wait—I’m in a Relationship….

Published on by DU Abroad1 Comment

With Valentine’s Day having passed just awhile ago, love has been on my mind—the chill with a cold beer, totally relaxed, let’s-go-eat-good-food-together love. As I celebrated the holiday I couldn’t help but think “I’ll be in China this time next year.” And then I was like, wait, what?! CHINA! Love?

This past summer I began a relationship with an amazing guy, but we both knew each of us would be going abroad for a year. Originally, we thought being in a relationship while abroad had potential. Now, we have both decided to be single abroad; we decided a relationship would hinder our growth as individuals. Besides, I could see myself getting irked about someone being late for a Skype date—being punctual is very important to me! But what if the Internet was down in China? What if some horrific snowstorm resulted in a power outage in Russia? What if transportation from an event was slow?

And then I began thinking about the future. Can I see myself marrying this guy? No—we’ll each be completely different people in ten years, and probably with careers in different countries. Do I want to have my options open? Absolutely! I want the freedom to pursue my career, to enjoy my twenties. I want to travel and be able to seize opportunities without worry of “Oh shoot, how will this person and I work?” While I enjoy relationships and consider this guy one of my best friends, we are each very driven and independent—too much for a year-long-abroad relationship.

Be realistic! Talking to your significant other before going abroad and answering some key questions will help both of you decide what’s right. Some questions to start with are…

What do I want? Do I want the opportunity to date other people I find interesting? Am I fine if we decide to have an open relationship?

Do I have commitment issues? Am I comfortable with what we’ve decided? Will I be second-guessing things? Do we both see ourselves together after studying abroad?

What time commitment are we looking at? A summer? Four to six months? A year? Are you fine with Skyping/emailing your boyfriend or girlfriend for a couple hours a week while other people hang out, shop, travel, or date?

Am I mature enough to decide something and stick to it? Do you know the human brain is not fully developed until 24-26 years of age? We’re still growing! Life is not as figured out as we think it is.

Best advice I’ve gotten:

1)      One of my best friends is going abroad for a year and says it best: Although she loves her boyfriend, she will consider herself single while abroad. Her logic is “If we can grow as individuals and still work, then I know it’s right.” I say you go girl!

2)      My dad: develop relations in college with people who can help you in your future. Work hard, get a stable career and financial independence. Being in a relationship is nice, but there is much more you will be able to accomplish if you don’t have a family. If you find someone who completely blows you away, then pursue it. If not, have relationships and close friends. (Can you see where I get my independence from?)

Consider short-term goals, consider long-term goals. Consider the person you’re with. Take everything into consideration and know what I say for me may not work for you. Be sure to be open to whoever you’re with and decide what is best for YOU and your goals.

Michelle Yeager, OIE Student Worker

Roll With the Punches!

Published on by DU AbroadLeave a comment

When it comes to making plans and sticking to it, I’m what you could consider a Poster Child. I like to know what is happening for each second of every day. If I have free time, great, but it needs to be scheduled. So you can imagine what I’m like when I travel, particularly if I’m only going to be in the location for two or three days. That little voice in my head says ‘Oh my goodness! You only have 72 hours to see everything there is to see in this city; GET A MOVE ON!’ and I become a madwoman. I’m the kind of person who will try to see every piece of artwork in the Louvre in less than a day. In fact, I once had a layover in Paris for 8 hours, and managed to visit the Louvre, Eiffel Tower, Arc de Triomphe and the Grande Arche de la Defense. Like I said…madwoman.

This compulsion became particularly acute when I spent a year studying in Geneva, Switzerland. Given Geneva’s central location and the Swiss insistence on being on time, traveling around Europe was incredibly easy in addition to being incredibly cheap. I was on a train, bus or plane nearly every weekend. Rome, Athens, Budapest, Lisbon, Cork, Amsterdam, Istanbul…Europe was my oyster. Naturally, I had these trips planned down to the millisecond so that I could squeeze in as much as possible. However, as the saying goes, ‘the best laid plans of mice and men…’

For my spring break, I planned to go to the Greek island of Corfu for seven days, and finish out the trip with two days inAthens to see all of the requisite monuments and statues. However, day six in Corfu came around, and we just couldn’t seem to drag ourselves off the beach to catch the bus on time. ‘Oh well,’ we thought ‘so we only have two nights and a day in Athens. What’s the big deal? We can see all the major stuff really quickly.’ So we spent another day on Corfu, caught the bus to Athens and arrived at our hostel just in time to collapse for the night. We woke up early the next morning to get a jump on the day (I had planned out ten hours or so…) and ventured out into the streets. But, they were empty. There was not a soul out there. I knew it was a Sunday, but I thought people would be out and about, no?

Disclaimer: when I was growing up, Easter was a day that meant Cadbury cream eggs and jelly beans…probably a stuffed animal or two thrown in. Beyond that, I never paid much attention. So, imagine my surprise when we discovered that the one day we had planned to spend in Athens was Greek Orthodox Easter, and all of the major monuments were closed. I very nearly had a meltdown. I had one day in Athens, and I couldn’t go to the Acropolis?! Are you kidding? We couldn’t find an open café, so we dejectedly walked back to our hostel. We asked the man behind the desk if there was anything we could do, and he replied that the city was shut down. However, the hostel would be roasting a lamb on a spit on their rooftop deck in half an hour, and everyone was invited.

I have to say, it was one of the best days of my life. The fact that I couldn’t do anything even if I wanted to offered an unexpected sense of relief; I didn’t have to rush anywhere…I could just sit and enjoy the beautiful Athenian sunshine, turn a lamb on a spit (I won’t lie…that took some getting used to…) and chat with a bunch of people my age who shared my love of travel. And I still managed to see the Acropolis from the roof of the hostel, so all was not lost.

My point is this: planning is great, but be prepared for unexpected opportunities and welcome them. Never in my life did I think that I’d be eating roasted lamb off a spit in Athens on Greek Orthodox Easter. Everyone can go to the Acropolis and Hadrian’s Arch, but I had an experience that is completely unique that I’ll carry with me for the rest of my life. It was the same situation a week later when I was in Rome and couldn’t see the Sistine Chapel because the Pope was giving a sermon outside the Vatican (I really need to learn my religious holidays…) Millions of people have seen the Sistine Chapel, but who has seen the Pope give mass? I discovered that it’s the things you don’t plan for that end up being the most valuable.

I’m still fairly obsessive when it comes to planning, but I’ve certainly learned to roll with the punches better, and even to hope for a diversion from the path.

 

Kat Cosgrove, OIE Graduate Peer Advisor