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During my second week here, I couldn’t stop the overwhelming feeling of homesickness. Our school gave us a list of things to not do in order to try to fit in, but assured us that we would stick out as Americans no matter what. This thought really started to weigh on me. I didn’t want to stick out, in the United States I never really worried about this, which made me much more grateful, but also more homesick.
In order to protect ourselves from being pickpocketed or followed they assured us to be aware of our surroundings. This was great advice in my opinion, but as the tips became more detailed I felt less and less secure. They advised us it was best to be quiet since Americans being loud is a stereotype, that is also a bit of a reality. The way I understood if you were walking somewhere, pay attention, keep your eyes ahead of you, and try not to draw too much attention to yourself.
While these are all very smart and safe tips, I started to feel my chipper habits slipping away. I am from the Midwest and I feel as though I am very social because of this. I love to smile at people on the street and make conversation as I pass. Here, I felt like I couldn’t do any of this because I had to focus on not looking like the over friendly American. This adjustment really started to take a toll on me. I didn’t feel fully like myself. I felt very lonely in my little bubble in public.
As this week came to an end, I stopped caring. I was trying to hide and pretend that I wasn’t an American, but that is just a fact, and one I am not ashamed of. I have started smiling at people on the street again, with caution to my surroundings. I am not able to make as many conversations with others due to the language barrier, but I’m hoping that as my time progresses here I will be able to. It is very difficult to adjust to a new culture and there are so many ups and downs that go along with it. I’m sure there will be many others along the way, but I am very grateful for this amazing experience to understand how another culture lives. I feel that if I continue to be respectful, then there is no mishap that I can’t overcome.
