What a Privilege

What a privilege.

These are the words I’ve kept repeating to myself for the last month or so as I’ve been studying abroad, but it hasn’t always been what I’ve expected.

Ever since I knew I was going to college, I knew I was going to study abroad. Growing up I would sit in school and plan all my dream trips. I would dream of places like Spain, Italy, and Greece.

When it came to actually applying for study abroad I could not make a decision. Every place seemed like a fairytale come true and I fantasized about the life I planned to have my junior year. As I was looking through applications, I saw Aix-en-Provence. I had never learned French, I had never had any big dreams to go to France, and most of my knowledge about the country came from The Summer I Turned Pretty. But when I saw it, I knew I had to go.

I spent the next few months scrolling on Pinterest, listening to French music, and trying to learn French on Duolingo (easier said than done). I was so excited to get out of my comfort and enter a whole new country.

It’s safe to say I did leave my comfort zone, leaving for study abroad might’ve been the hardest thing I’ve done. Leaving Colorado left me with so many mixed emotions, it was so hard to leave my family and friends. As someone who has traveled all their life, when I landed in Marseille I was horrified to say the least. I was in a whole new country with no friends or family, and I couldn’t speak the language despite my duolingo attempts. I couldn’t help but think that I had made a mistake.

Although the first twenty four hours in Aix may have been the longest of my life, the weeks that followed were certainly the most magical. The first week of study abroad was a whirlwind of emotions and new experiences. I quickly met a fantastic group of friends and started traveling around France.

I’ll never forget my first “wow, I’m abroad” moment; it was my trip to Cassis. Cassis is a beautiful beach town in the South of France. My friends and I had a picnic with fresh fruit, pasta, and of course, a baguette. I will never forget this day. Seeing the ocean blue water, walking around the beautiful streets, and getting to fulfill my lifelong goal of swimming in the Mediterranean sea – all I could think about is what a privilege it was to be here in France.

As I’ve spent more time here in the South of France, I’ve come to truly love it. I’ve made such good friends, I’ve been learning how to draw, and I’m surprisingly getting much better at French. I have learned so many new things and I know that, despite my previous fears, I made the right choice.

Don’t get me wrong, studying abroad is still hard at times. I’ve struggled with my travel budget,  struggled with the language, and honestly I don’t think I’ll ever understand the public transportation system here. But what a privilege it is to struggle.

What a privilege it is to be scared, what a privilege it is to get out of my comfort zone, what a privilege it is to see the world, what a privilege!

Being Unprepared

I am writing this just before my flight to Prague. I have had months to start, so why now? As I am on the eve of my study abroad, I’ve had time to reflect on this question. The biggest reason is that I am unprepared. I’m unprepared in what to expect. Unprepared in my packing. Unprepared in my own organization. These all seem like negatives, but this has been the calmest I have been in my life. I’m ready to be unprepared. I have been to Europe numerous times in different circumstances, both with family as well as with friends. When I was with them, it was similar to an army boot camp. Do you have your passport? Your Phone? All of your clothes? Do you know where you are staying? Etc. Etc. All of these are valid questions that one should keep in mind, but I think I am ready to ask those questions of myself on my own time.

This is why I think living on your own in a new country is so valuable to your growth as a person. I would argue that I am sufficient at caring for myself in a U.S-centric setting, yet I have no idea what my personal standards and what I care about will be like in Prague. Questioning the routines that I have experienced at home and how they will change is what makes studying abroad more than just a vacation. Instead of my usual Dunkin’ coffee, I’m ready to wake up unprepared and try to find something new. Am I going to become a regular at a small cafe? Or am I going to try and go to a new place every day? These small decisions are what’s going to dictate my experience and create something unforgettable.

What I’m most excited for is meeting new people that I can share my experiences with. My last time in Prague was filled with memories as my friends and I explored the touristy side as well as the nightlife. I want to be able to revisit the places that have been ingrained in my mind while also creating new memories with new people that are studying abroad for the same reasons as me. I think that’s why I want to be unprepared- by being in that state of mind, I will be more open to new people and experiences.

Let’s see how it goes!