Author: jessicamattoxx

Hello, my name is Jessica Mattox! I am a third-year psychology student currently studying abroad at the University of Otago, in New Zealand. I’ve been studying here about a month and a half now, and it’s seriously been such a surreal experience. I cannot wait to post more throughout my time being here and please feel free to reach out with any questions for anyone also considering New Zealand or abroad in general. It can be scary, but the risk has been far worth the reward. I definitely have some catching up to do, but the best way to do so is going back to the beginning.

When I made the decision to study abroad, I never truly grasped the realities of my decision. As my departure date became closer and closer, a date that had been marked on my mental calendar for months, it felt like an out of body experience. It was easy to be excited when it was a date far in the future, when it was a casual topic of conversation amongst my other friends going abroad. After the stress of finals and packing up my room, I stayed up all night with my group of friends to say goodbye and talk about what was in store for us this summer, trying to make the most of one last night together. This was a different kind of goodbye, it was bittersweet. Me off to New Zealand at the end of June, one friend working in Montana, another going to Israel. All very exciting, fun things but it hit us that the next time we would see each other was in January for winter quarter. Although sad, I feel so lucky to have friends that encourage me to put myself out there, people that I’m excited to come back to with loads of updates.

I flew back home from Denver to Southern California to get a few weeks of family/beach time in before leaving. New Zealand is in the Southern Hemisphere, so I knew I was heading into the cold in addition to being one of the first groups of abroad students to leave. I really felt like I had more time at home than I did. I caught up with as many friends as possible while trying to make sure to appreciate the much-needed downtime. I was lucky enough to have a couple friends from DU visit, one also being from California. It was perfect timing not only to see them but also show them around my favorite spots at home before leaving.

It came to the point where June 29^th was less than a week away and it was time to start packing and actually getting things in order. If you know me, you know that this is when I turn into someone no one wants to be around. I was running around like a crazy person on various errands to the bank, target, REI, etc., in an attempt to be organized while also spending time with family.

Looking back now, after being here a month, I feel so grateful for the time I had with them. Although short, we really made the most of it. I went to Universal Studios with my dad, church and farmers market with my mom, watched my brother surf, and had as many coffee dates as possible with my sister.

I remember clinging onto every moment, second guessing if I was prepared or if I could handle being away for so long. However, no matter how I was feeling, there was a flight booked, it was happening, and I physically did not have enough time to dwell on it for too long. As someone who tends to get anxious, as most would before something of this level, chaos can be a blessing in disguise because it distracts from the overthinking. Looking back, it’s pretty funny but the day I left was a story in and of itself. My flight was for about 11:30 pm, out of LAX. First off, anyone who is from California knows how much of a pain that airport is. Anytime you think you should get there, get there an extra hour or two before. Anyways, about to be very real about how last minute the packing got… let’s just say I was at the beach with my sister soaking in the sun the day of my flight when bags were still not fully packed. I think I was at the stage of being so stressed days before that I was just over it and on the other end of not being stressed enough. This was me the day of my flight:

I got home from the beach, then finished packing with the help of my mom and dad. We were running a little behind schedule but thought that it would be okay, key word ‘thought.’ We get to LA and decide to sit down for dinner, 5 minutes from the airport. In our defense, we were still decently early at this point and avoiding saying bye. We finally decide it is time to go and put in google maps to the terminal because it is such an obnoxiously big airport. I’ve seriously gone to this airport my whole life and never seen it as bad as it was. It took at least 2 hours of us sitting in traffic from what should had been 5 minutes from the airport. We did have to circle the airport twice because we couldn’t find Air New Zealand- there was no official sign because it is such a small airline.

What I thought would be more than enough time at the airport, turned into me almost missing my flight. Just try and picture the drama of quickly getting out of the car and hugging my mom then my sister actively running into the airport with me to make sure they will even let me check my bags at this point. My flight was supposed to board in 30 minutes. I cried, gave my sister the tightest hug, and then the adrenaline ticked in. I was going to make this flight, there was no other option. I finally made it to my gate, and the flight was delayed…I somehow made perfect time. Now I only had a 13-hour flight to process what had just happened.

Although stressful, the situation forced me to get on the plane without looking back. In that moment, going abroad became my own story, not just someone else’s. This hectic start is an ironic example- taking place at an airport I was familiar with while the rest of my travel was perfectly smooth sailing. I obviously would miss my family, but I felt good about the time we spent together and knew the distance would change nothing in terms of our relationship (We still talk far too often). The song, ‘Your Gonna Go Far,’ by Noah Kahan, sums up the feeling perfectly. I’d heard it before, but this experience gave me a whole new perspective on what he wanted to convey in his lyrics. Definitely give it a listen if you haven’t yet!

I took three total flights- Los Angeles to Auckland, Auckland to Christchurch, and then Christchurch to Dunedin. In my final flight to Dunedin, I looked out the window and it was just beautiful, like nothing I’d ever seen. I became aware that I was actually in New Zealand, the same place I had talked about for months, the place that only felt like a far-fetched dream. Nerves shifted to excitement and I knew that I would be more than okay.