I’ve officially been home from New Zealand for a few weeks now and not going to lie, it has been harder than expected. I was avoiding blogging a bit because I was thinking a lot and just trying to process what I was even feeling. However, I think it is important to talk about my range of emotions even if I still haven’t quite figured it out.
College is a time of life where we are expected to constantly be moving around, constantly saying bye to people. We are supposed to get attached, but not too attached because we are going to go home for summer break or leave after abroad. With my personality type, I tend to struggle with this change. I am the type of person who picks people and friendships that are deeper than the surface- people I can really talk to and be a true friend to as they are me. While this is a beautiful thing to have, it makes the leaving that much harder. I’ve been like this my whole life, always needed to process and mourn each phase of my life. This doesn’t mean that I am not excited for what’s to come, it just means that I feel like I can’t move on fully without doing so. My whole life, no joke every first day of school until about junior year of high school, I would come home and cry to my mom about missing my old teachers and how the new ones didn’t feel the same. Sooner than later, it would start to feel normal, and I would adjust and start to love my new teacher and cry about them the next year. I am just in my transition phase, processing the end of the new and exciting and reverting back to the comfortable and normal.
My time in New Zealand was the coolest, most unexpected thing I think I’ve done. So much happened during my time away, and honestly, I came back feeling like I aged a couple years. There were ups and downs, but I could not imagine not having that experience. I did learn how to be independent, but not in the typical way you would think. I learned what it means to be an adult and how people survive on their own out in the world. The truth is- you cannot do it alone no matter how hard you try. Yeah sure, I had to do some on my own but the friends were always there for support and to lean on when I needed it. Honestly, I think the independence that society glamorizes is overrated. Everyone puts so much emphasis on relying on themselves, but life is so much better when you figure it out with the people around you. There is something so special about the bond you create with people who you’ve shared experiences with. No matter how much my family knows me, or how many stories I tell, they will never understand my time in New Zealand as much as those I shared it with. I opened myself up and really learned to let people in and receive the love that I show others because that is what everyone craves in this life. That alone made my whole experience worth it (I guess the breathtaking nature was pretty cool too).
I think right now my biggest fear is that the person I was in New Zealand will slowly slip away from me and I will revert back to an old version of me. However, I am trying to remind myself that those experiences are with me forever and they have shaped me more than I realize. I know that there is a lot to look forward to in going back to DU and catching up with friends but my brain kind of works in a one thing at a time mode. Once I get back to Colorado it will feel like I never left, with endless things to catch up with friends about. Life will go back to “normal,” and start to feel normal again. However, right now, I am not finding as much comfort in that thought as I expected. But yeah, currently just trying to feel all the things I need to but not dwell too much on it. I know the people I meet will be lifelong friends even if they are from a distance. In the meantime, I am appreciating the comforts of my favorite coffee shops, PCH drives, holiday lights, and catching up with friends and family. I want to suck in every moment at home that I possibly can because this phase of life is short-lived.
At the end of the day, I just want to make my mom proud and make the most of all the opportunities that I’ve been blessed with. Going to a private high school, then to DU, and then to New Zealand was something that I never thought was in the cards for me. It is crazy how life works out how it is supposed to and how it can surprise you. Because of my mom’s sacrifice and hard work, the whole trajectory of my life has been changed. I plan to continue to make the most of every opportunity that comes my way, without being scared of new changes that arise. I think the reason why I take time to mourn and process each phase is because I always put my whole heart into it. Without this downtime, I wouldn’t be able to put my whole heart back into DU just as I did New Zealand. So yeah, those are my random thoughts about what’s been going on. While it’s been a little uneasy, the feelings are normal and I just think it’s good to find comfort in the community knowing that others are going through similar things. Please feel free to reach out to me with any questions about my time in New Zealand for anyone interested!
My final week in Dunedin was a rollercoaster of emotions. At some point every day, my friends and I sat around the kitchen table or on the couch in our flat and someone had to say, “Guys I’m sad how are we leaving each other soon.” We would all go silent and just think about it, you could feel the whole mood of the room shift as no one knew what to say or do. Honestly, who am I kidding most of the time it was me because I’m a nostalgic person who always is reflecting and processing my reality. Eventually, we would get up and go to the beach and do something fun and things would return to normal for the time being. It was a slow week- mostly everyone was done with finals, and we were all just trying to figure out what was next.
I had my 21st birthday on the 8th which was really fun to celebrate while away. It was crazy turning 21 in New Zealand and being able to come home legal. It was kind of perfect timing because most people were leaving around the 13th and it was the last time we were able to get everyone together. The night before my birthday we drove down to the Catlins which is a beautiful area a couple hours south of Dunedin with green rolling hills, beaches, and gorgeous views. My friends Hana, Caty, Emma, and I hiked to a hut and stayed the night outdoors. This was great to be all together and have a last outdoor adventure with them. I woke up in the Catlins on my birthday and my friend Caty managed to chef up some crepes and we had a nice breakfast. We headed back to Dunedin and I got my nails done and did some shopping for my birthday dinner. We went to a nice Thai place on the water at St. Clair and then headed home where my other friends were at the flat and surprised me with a cake. Others started to show up and it turned out to be a great, wholesome night. One of my favorite parts was the card they made me. I get really excited about cards because they are meaningful, and I always make the effort to make my friends one for their birthday. Everyone signed it and wrote the sweetest notes that made me feel so special, it was cute.
Caty Making CrepesBirthday Dinner at St. Clair!
By the end of the week, my family got there, and it felt so surreal to be seeing them in this place that I had spent so much of my time on my own. Their coming crept up on me I really couldn’t believe I was already getting to see them and leaving Dunedin so soon. I went to their hotel and got into the elevator and pushed the button for their floor. I had a moment almost like not knowing what to even say to them, wondering if I’d changed and if they would notice. I got to their floor and the elevator door opened. My sister was standing right there, and we both screamed and ran to each other. It immediately felt right and normal as I felt that touch of home I’d started to long for each day. We went to a yummy Italian place right on the water and caught up about everything going on. I was so happy that I got to be with them after saying my goodbyes and that I could ease into the process of going home. I was in shock that they were even there, and excited to show them my favorite spots so they could see what my life had been like for these 5 months away.
Reunited with my Siblings!
The next day, I showed them my flat and we walked around my campus. They were in awe that this was the school I had been attending and spending my time in. I will say the campus is quite beautiful with flowers blooming everywhere and a stream that goes right through the middle of campus. That night, I introduced them to 3 of the 6 of my flatmates that were left in Dunedin. We shared stories and laughed, and I was so happy that all these people who mean a lot to me were finally meeting. Vasco, my flatmate from Portugal, always made fun of me because he says I talk with my hands and use “like” a lot. He said my mom was exactly the same as me and I said, “So now you finally understand where I come from.” I spent the night in the flat rather than the hotel to have one last night with my friends. A lot of people were gone at this point, but I said bye to those who were still there. There was a heaviness over the group as no one wanted to say bye, but we knew it had to be done. I truly never thought I would get this close to so many people from all over the world. They became my family and it felt like I was being forced into closing that chapter of my life. This was different than saying bye to college friends knowing we would all be back. I never knew when I would see these people again and that thought was on constant repeat in my mind. The next morning, I gave final hugs and headed off with my family. Our first stop was Queenstown, which had been a staple location during my time abroad. I’d gone there a few times now and felt good about showing them around.
Walking Around Campus and Botanical GardensDriving to Queenstown
Now that my family was here, it was a different kind of travel. Being with my friends we were on an extreme budget and usually would stay in hostels and try to eat the cheapest possible food. With my family, we stayed at nice places, going on tours, and eating nice food. I felt like I deserved this after the roughing it I’d done- most of the time in nature which is fun in its own way. We did a day trip from Queenstown to the Doubtful Sounds. This is where Lord of the Rings is filmed, which is the main thing that it is known for. It is one of the places on the South Island that gets the most rain so it is pure rainforest. We got to go on a boat through the sounds and the views were breathtaking. Everywhere you look there’s a waterfall. Since it rains a lot, it has a cool mystical feel, eerie like you’re in a dreamland. While this was fun, the tour was very long and all of us just wanted to get off the boat by the end of it. Because it is so secluded, we took a total of 8 modes of transportation throughout the day ranging between boats and busses. We were so excited to get back after our 2-hour bus ride to have some food and get a good night’s rest.
View from Doubtful Sounds Boat Ride
After that, we headed to Lake Tekapo for the night and stopped at Mt. Cook on the way to do the Hooker Valley track. This was a super easy walking trail with beautiful views of the mountains. It was very nice to get outside after so much sitting in the car and traveling. Driving into Mt. Cook was one of the most beautiful drives I’d ever done. That is the nice thing about New Zealand is that even if you have a long drive, it is a beautiful one, so it is easy to stay entertained. Anyways, there was the most vibrant turquoise blue lake to the right of us while driving in and we were all in awe of the sight. The mix of milky blue waters with snowcapped mountains was just stunning, and like nothing I’d seen before. We got into Lake Tekapo that evening and slept for a little before our stargazing tour at 12 am. Lake Tekapo is known for stargazing, so we knew we had to go see for ourselves. We got to look through telescopes and even see the rings around Saturn and various other planets and constellations up close. After that, we went into hot springs and got to float around while looking up at the vibrant stars. This was nice but slightly disappointing because we thought the hot springs would be natural and it was more of a pool with chlorine and everything. Despite that, it was a cool experience and I enjoyed it. In the morning, we stopped to see the famous lupin flowers around the lake that are beautiful and vibrant with color. They were not all blooming, but we got to see some.
Drive to Mt. CookMe and the Lupin Flowers at Lake Tekapo
Our next road trip location was to Christchurch for a night before catching a flight to the north island. Sadly, when we arrived, the weather was terrible, so we just kept it mellow. Me and my mom went for a drink and got delicious espresso martinis and enjoyed every second of it. That is my favorite drink to order on the right occasion because it feels sophisticated and tastes good as well. My friend Vasco who I had mentioned was staying in a hostel near the airport in Christchurch for the night, so I decided to Uber over to see him and get one last goodbye. We were very happy to see each other again and we talked outside about our favorite memories and what our plans were after this. There was a pool table in the hostel, so we decided to play a couple games (I beat him on the first one). I love being with my family, but it felt really nice to see him and be able to be around friends again. We gave hugs and I got into an Uber and headed back to the hotel.
The next morning, we got on a plane to Rotorua in the North Island. The plane ride was short only a couple hours and we landed and got a rental car. We were on the way to Raglan, which is a small beach town known for its long left point. My brother was very excited to surf this wave and be back by the beach. On the way to Raglan, we had an excursion planned to see glow worms in underground caves by boat. This was a really cool one because we learned how the caves were formed thousands of years ago when that part of the island was underwater. It was pitch black as we got on the boat and headed into the caves. I could smell that freshwater smell- similar to when you go on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland. When we got to a certain spot in the caves, it lit up. It was honestly such a cool thing to see and extremely rare as well as there are only glow worms in New Zealand and Australia. It was as if I was looking at the clearest night of stars you could possibly comprehend. When we got to the end of the tour, we could see some light as we were approaching the exit to the caves. Upon exiting, we went into a beautiful rainforest landscape, large canopies of green trees that protected mostly from the rain. From the caves, we made the trek to Raglan- a secluded part of the North Island a couple hours from Auckland.
Cool Restaurant Our First Night in Raglan
Raglan was everything we expected it to be. This is something I was particularly excited about because it was the only recommendation for New Zealand I got from a friend at home. I loved living in the South Island in terms of the grand mountains and unique landscapes, but I definitely missed warmer weather and the ability to be at the beach in a bikini. When I think about it, I missed summer in 2 different hemispheres which was really starting to affect me. In Raglan, we got to put on bathing suits and hang out at the beach finally. My brother is a big surfer, so he enjoyed the nice long left that this spot is famous for. I always love watching my brother surf because it reminds me of my childhood and being his proud sister watching him in competitions. To this day, I always think he’s the best in the lineup which is probably why I enjoy it so much. I was watching him and saw a full rainbow appear over him as he surfer- truly the coolest sight. Life in Raglan is simple- people live to surf and be in a tight community with each other. There was nothing fancy about this town, but we understood why people loved it so much. If I could live there for months with my family and do nothing but go to the beach every day I would say yes in a heartbeat.
Insane Rainbow!Me Happy to be in a Bikini
After a few days in Raglan, it was finally time to go home. We woke up and did one last coffee run before having to hit the road. We were flying out of Auckland which was about a 3-hour drive from where we were. My family’s flight was a bit earlier than mine, so we got to the airport and I took the rental car for a couple hours around the city because I hadn’t seen it yet. It was a weird feeling, my last few hours in a country where I had spent so much time and made endless memories. It was hard to process that I was leaving, and I was unsure about how to feel. I was honestly excited to go home but knew I would miss it. Being abroad is something that is hyped up in your head for so long and it was a harsh reality that it was over, but life goes on. Despite how I was feeling, I went to the airport and got on the plane. I continued to think about my friends and how grateful I was to have experienced everything I did. My main goal moving forward was to take in everything I learned while away and look forward to my next phase of being home and going back to DU to catch up with friends. Thank you, New Zealand, you will be missed!