Tag: advice

The Ultimate Decision

Published on by sarahsouthafrica3 Comments

On a chilly November morning a young woman was spotted crossing the street at Evans and University.  She was flustered, in a rush, and multi tasking (as most young people in this time period do).  The noticeable thing about this common situation were the papers in her hand.  Multi-colored and large in quantity, it was clear that the papers had been acquired from a Study Abroad 101 session.  They were brochures for different schools in different countries.  While most students leave their 101 session with a few flyers, Sarah left hers with 89.  When she was spotted, she was in the process of arranging the flyers by color, into different regions.  Sorting the schools by color was the only way Sarah knew how to start.

As a mathematics major at the University of Denver, Sarah only knew one thing about her academics abroad: she didn’t need to take any math.  Maybe she’d take a few theater classes to fulfill some of her minor requirements, but theater was offered everywhere.  She didin’t have a particular interest in a certain language, she didn’t have to go anywhere for scholastic reasons, and she didn’t have an interest in a certain area.  That is why she walked out the 101 session with every flyer that didn’t have a language requirement or other prerequisite that she didn’t have.  That was why she was sorting flyers by color because it was the only way she knew how to start.  Because she didn’t have a single preference on where to go.  Actually, she didn’t even want to go.

Sarah is a master of the idea, “Don’t wait for the rain to pass, learn to dance in it instead.”  A life in poverty and tragedy teaches some to rebel, be angry, and do things they think they ‘deserve’ after all of the crap they’ve been through.  It teaches others to be happy with what they’re given, work hard, and change whatever they can.  As a Daniels Fund recipient, Sarah fell into category two.  The Daniels Fund is a supplemental scholarship to any University in the United States.  This includes financial coverage of study abroad.  As someone who had never left their hometown and who had only been on a plane twice, it’s more than unfathomable that she got to study in a different country for almost no cost.  So much more unfathomable was that she didn’t want to go.  She was happy at DU. She’d found a home, friends who she loved, and a place she belonged.  She was more than blessed, and couldn’t think of a good reason to leave it except the fact that everyone told her she should.  Deep down she knew she should too, but knowing and feeling are two different things.

Luckily the story doesn’t end with a confused girl with 89 flyers.  I know this because I am that girl and I know that I’m going to the University of KwaZulu-Natal Pietermaritzburg.  It’s a beautiful school in South Africa. (see below)  The thing is, the process of choosing UKZN wasn’t simple.

After organizing the schools by region, I realized how pointless that was.  I’ve never dreamt of going anywhere.  I’m not even sure if I understood that I could.  So I didn’t have a place I really wanted to visit or didn’t want to visit.  Who cares what part of the world the school’s in?  So then I prayed a lot.  I read through all of my flyers again and again.  I tried asking myself questions to narrow the search.  Do I want strong culture shock?  Do I want to live on campus, with other international students, or in a home of a native?  Do I want a lot of other Americans around?  Do I want beauty and places that have lots of adventure?

The more I questioned myself, the more I didn’t know the answer.  I’d be happy anywhere, and probably happiest right here at DU. I got rid of the schools that required me to take a language while I was abroad because I stink at foreign languages.  I got rid of the flyers that told me I had to present a ‘portfolio’ to get in because I didn’t have one and didn’t have time to make one good enough to get accepted.  I got rid of the schools that didn’t offer theatre classes and the ones that specialized in an area that I’m not good at.  I had about 41 flyers left.

“The heart can be deceptive, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t listen to its suggestions.”

I had spent so much time of weeding out schools based on facts about them, and I felt like I was getting nowhere.  So I tried a different technique.  I let my heart decide.  I just started reading flyers (for about the 30th time) and placed them in piles.  The ones I was sick of looking at and reading I placed into the ‘no’ pile.  The ones that made my heart excited got placed into the ‘maybe’ pile.  The maybe pile only had 13 flyers in it.  This process was more successful than I thought it would be.

With only thirteen schools to look at, I felt more equipped to make a decision.  I looked up the schools online.  I looked up information about where they were located, climate, culture, ect.  I looked at pictures and imagined myself in each place.  Then I let it go.  I didn’t look at those thirteen flyers for about two weeks.  I didn’t think about abroad.  I went on with life and gave my brain, heart, and soul a break.

When I went back two weeks later, I played the heart game again.  They all still excited my heart.  I was still interested in all thirteen, but there were five that I lingered on just a little bit longer. There was Canterbuy in New Zeland, Cork in Ireland, Tasmania in Australia, Ulster in Northern Ireland, and KwaZulu-Natal, Pietermaritzburg in South Africa. With in a day I had chosen UKZN.

A mini story is that I knew that I was leaning towards this school since my study abroad 101 session.  My 101 leader, Christina, went the UKZN three years ago and she spoke about how she got into a class where she got credit for working with kids who have AIDS in a children’s hospital.  Afterwards she and I had a long talk about me not wanting to go abroad and she prayed with me about it.  Through the entire process UKNZ lingered towards the top, but I didn’t want to choose it just because it was the first interesting school I heard about.  I wanted to go to the best place for me.

Once I started talking about the schools to different people, the answer became clear.  First of all, I received an email that day that told me that two schools weren’t offered for the Fall of 2012 anymore.  They both happened to be on my list. Then I was telling my pro and con list of the three schools to one of my best friends, Adam, and when I was done he gave me ‘the look’ and said, “I already know where you’re going and you do to.  Why is it even a question?” I knew he was talking about South Africa, but I asked him just to make sure.  He was.  Then I was explaining the options to one of my adult role models and he just politely listened.   After a leadership meeting, where I shared that he has a way of saying things that don’t relate to anything I’m going through, but some saying exactly what I need to hear, he looks me in the eyes and says “South Africa”.  When I woke up the next morning, I knew what I wanted.

I went through the motions, just in case.  I knew deep down that I wanted to stay here.  It took a lot to find my fire.  I talked to a lot of people, I prayed a lot; I did a lot of research.  I found reasons that I needed to go, besides just ‘ not losing an opportunity.’  I reached a point where it was my reality, and an exciting reality at that.

Sarah Caulkins, DUSA blogger

Decisions, Decisions, and Premonitions on your Destination for Study Abroad

Published on by E L B2 Comments

You know when you have that feeling in your gut that something important is just about to happen? When I was little, I used to think these feelings were special indicators of future events – I called it reverse déjà vu. As I’ve grown, I’ve come to the less supernatural conclusion that I must just have particularly strong intuition.

But someties, these feelings catch you by the wayside, and it’s only after the realization’s come to surface that you can see how it’s been stuck to you for awhile and you’ve just been blind to its meaning.

One of the most significant moments of my life happened this way. As a kid I’d lie awake at night sometimes and wonder what it would be like if I lived in another country – what if I wasn’t born as an American? If I were a Britishschoolgirl instead, what would I be doing right now? Or if I were from Zimbabwe? China? Argentina? The thought of it would make me breathless.

Then, when I turned fifteen, my family and I moved to Melbourne, Australia. During the first few months of the five years I lived there, I would wake up astonished with my situation. I – am living in Australia? Then I’d remember those night I spent wondering about life in far away places…it made sense. Of course, I was always meant to be this person, an expat, a traveler. It’s what led me to my current path as an International Studies major at the University of Denver.

The same thing happened with Study Abroad. As soon as the start of my first year at DU I was looking at my options. I considered everywhere – and I’m not kidding; destinations as diverse as The Hague and Hong Kong. I even considered returning to Australia. For a spell, I was dead set on going to the Dominican Republic. Then there was Bilbao.

After mulling over my options, I was drawn to Spain. Somewhat reluctantly to tell you the truth, but I had a feeling. Soon enough, I was swept up with the idea of living in Madrid, the pulsing cosmopolitan heart of the country. Having worked with texts by Frederico García Llorca in high school, I was charmed by visions of life in Andalucía. The whimsical paintings of Salvador Dalí made me curious to see the landscape of Catalonia. I could practically see myself surrounded by the Moorish architecture of Granada. But Bilbao? No. Who goes to the north of Spain, when you can revel in the fiery south?

But something would say to me, “I bet that’s where you’ll be going, Emily,” and inside I would sigh at the thought. My intuition was speaking to me, but I didn’t want to listen.

You see we get so caught up in what we think we should do, where we should go, how our future should look, the kind of person we should be. That takes a lot of planning and organizing and lists. Lots of lists, with pros and cons and comparisons all for making decisions on our lives. I made lots of lists for study abroad, in my head and on paper. I know a lot of my friends did too. But travel shouldn’t be that way at all. Travel’s meant to break routine and throw us out on a limb. We leave what we know and what’s familiar in order to be confronted with what we didn’t plan for, don’t we?

So, I brought my list of what I wanted in a Study Abroad locale with me to my meeting with the Study Abroad advisor last Fall. Lo and behold, after looking over my list, the advisor looked and me and said, “It looks like Bilbao would be a perfect fit for you,” more or less.

“Well, of course it does,” I said to myself.

But you know, she talked me into it.

“Go to northern Spain,” she said.

“Why?” I countered.

“Because it is entirely unlike the rest of the country. It’s lush and green. There are mountains all around. The coast is beautiful. I know you hear all about la Costa del Sol, but all the Spaniards run to the northern coast for their holidays.”

I was listening.

“The culture up to the north is entirely unique to the region. There’s a very strong Celtic presence, they even play bagpipes, which you wouldn’t expect in Spain would you?”

“No, not at all.”

“Exactly. Most people don’t know much about the north of Spain because, well, most people don’t go there. And that’s one of the best parts, you’ll be one of few foreigners studying abroad in the region.”

That piqued my interest.

Then she winced and added, “It’s true that people can be a bit – apprehensive – to travel to the Basque country, and if you ask a Spaniard what they think of the idea they’ll probably advise you against it because of the ETA, but, really, it’s not dangerous. In fact, the ETA declared a ceasefire last month and, anyways, they never plant bombs inside the Basque country, so you’d actually be much safer, in theory, from terrorist threats in Bilbao than if you were anywhere else in the country.”

For some twisted reason, it was the idea of studying abroad in a place with an active national resistance movement that got me hooked.

So, I gave in to fate. I will be studying abroad en la otra costa, with ISA in Bilbao, Spain come September. And I couldn’t be happier. In my experience, the best journeys don’t fit within our carefully considered expectations. The destination draws you in, without any preparation on your part, sometimes against reason. Get rid of expectations when you travel, you’re better without them. Instead, follow your premonitions, because they know where you are going, and I’ll bet you can’t wait to find out.

Emily Bowman, DUSA Blogger