Category: Europe

Fostering Relationships While Abroad

Published on by hadleyway2 Comments

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We all experience long distance relationships when we go to college. We are long distance with our family and friends from home, and then long distance with college friends over holiday breaks. My biggest obstacle I’ve had to overcome so far is keeping those relationships alive with a 6+ hour time difference.

Family

My family is the biggest part of my identity. I am a mosaic of everyone that has raised me. This has been the hardest part of studying abroad. I call my mom almost every day in Denver, walking back from class at night. In Florence, I can only call her when our schedules line up – which is not very often. Sometimes, it also slips my mind. I text her throughout the day, even when she doesn’t respond, but it is hard not to fill her in on everything. This has taught me to be more independent and appreciate the time I spend with her – either on the phone or in person. I also keep my dad busy with a million pictures a day – although it is usually just pictures of dogs and animals I see. My aunt, grandparents, and cousins have been equally supportive with texts and occasional calls. My cousin, Maisie, studied abroad for 6 months in Chile. I’ve been texting and talking to her because she can understand and give advice my parents aren’t able to do. I feel significantly closer to my family because I have been in communication with them more since I have realized how valuable it is. Sending pictures back and forth helps them have a glimpse of my life and vice-versa.

Friends

Alongside my family, my friends are a very important part of my life. I am lucky to be traveling and living with some here, and even creating more friendships during these first few weeks, but it is still important to maintain the relationships back at home and college. When it comes to my hometown friends, it makes me very happy when we chat. Since my friends from DU are mostly all studying abroad, it is easier to talk to them than my hometown friends. When I wake up in the morning, my hometown friends are usually going to bed, and vice-versa. Although we haven’t scheduled a time to sit down and video chat with everyone, I stay up-to-date with their daily lives through videos and pictures they send. They are all so supportive and curious about my life here, and it reminds me how special I am to have such meaningful connections with people, no matter how far away we are. When it comes to my friends from college, it is so so exciting to see and follow along with everything they are up to! From Europe to Australia to South America, it is so special to see everyone’s experiences and it makes me just as excited to see them back at DU. I have trips planned with different people in different places – I am so lucky to be able to create memories with people I love in different cities!

Significant Others

The classic scenario when “long distance relationship” is mentioned. I think it is important to touch on how being in a relationship with someone in a different country has shaped my abroad experience so far – in a good way. I have been with my boyfriend for a little over 8 months. We started dating right before decisions for study abroad were made and we both decided to go to different places. We didn’t talk about our decisions together, because we were fresh in our relationship. Over time, it became hard to grasp the fact that we are both going to be in different cities and have to do long distance for 6 months. Now, I wouldn’t change a thing. He will be in Barcelona while I am in Florence, and both will grow independently but together. I have been in Italy for a month before he goes to Barcelona, and the 8-hour time difference has been a lot easier than I thought. It has helped me really understand how I adjust and fit into the city, being able to explore and fill him in on it later in the evening. We call once a week, telling each other everything that has happened, and it is so much fun. I know that everyone has their own opinion on long-distance relationships, but I believe it is very easy with the right person. I am looking forward to showing him around Florence and just as excited to see his life in Barcelona. I know that although we aren’t experiencing abroad “together,” we are still very much a part of each other’s lives – and I couldn’t be more thankful.

Being abroad means being long distance from everyone and everything I love and know, but this has helped me gain a deeper appreciation for the people and things I hold so close to my heart. “How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard” – Winnie the Pooh

a dopo,

Hadley

The Reality of Culture Shock

Published on by gwenmorgan323Leave a comment

I’ve always considered myself to be a fairly adaptable individual. I love delving into different cultures, trying different foods, and listening to different music. 

Before going abroad, I attended all of the required “pre-departure” meetings. They all told me the same thing: “you might experience something called ‘culture-shock’, don’t be embarrassed if you have difficulty adapting to a new environment right away.” Every single time I would ignore said advice. I told myself, “as someone already between two cultures, there was no way I would experience culture shock”. I was so convinced I would adjust perfectly, that I’d be able to integrate easily, that I’d fall seamlessly into the Spaniard routine. 

Oh how wrong I was. 

For one, I never considered how different my diet would become, especially now as I write this portion of the blog from the bathroom floor, nauseous from a dish served to me by my host family that I had no idea would not agree with me. I was determined to impress them, wanting to be adventurous, but I never considered that my body wouldn’t be fully accustomed to the ingredients in the food here. We are fed copious amounts of bread and cheese (of which I am not complaining), as well as meat and other seafood. Coming from someone who eats a vegetable-heavy diet, however, it’s been an adjustment. 

Besides the upset tummy, I’ve found that I am struggling to adjust to the times of meals. Lunch, almuerzo, is served around 2 pm, while dinner is not served sometimes until nine or ten pm. I am an individual who enjoys an early dinner, allowing me to be in bed by that time. Not to mention the types of food I am served with each meal. Breakfast in our household usually consists of a slice of bread, a spread of roughly blended tomatoes, and some sort of meat to adorn it with. Of course, I can’t forget the coffee, a Spanish staple. I have taken a lot of solace in the fact that my caffeine addiction is still being maintained while I am abroad.

School has been different too. I’d like to consider myself a fashionable person, but the women of Spain are next level. No one really takes backpacks to school either, they all carry large bags and sport well-fitting leather jackets. I feel a little out of place with my American jeans and North Face backpack. 

I also have to admit I’ve had a hard time adjusting to living with so many people, so many unfamiliar people at that. I am, however, grateful that I know Spanish well enough that I have not experienced the stress that comes from a language barrier. Living with so many different personalities is difficult, especially with two young kids. Our host parents are the sweetest people in the world, only wanting us to feel accommodated and comfortable. Our host mom, Ana, was so worried when I got sick, offering me everything and anything I could need. “Si, si, I want you to feel almost like at home,” she texted me once, and I felt so seen and loved. It’s been hard to be away from home, as much as I hate to admit it…I’m definitely homesick. I know it will pass, and I know how lucky I am to be here, but it’s hard. Hard to be away from the familiarity of routine, away from familiar foods, people, places, and names. 

On the days I was sick, both physically and mentally, I felt so silly that I kept making excuses for myself: I’ve only been here for a week! I’ve been away from home for longer periods of time! I was being ridiculous! 

But in reality, I was struggling. SO much had happened in so little time, it was enough to overwhelm just about anyone. 

As I cried on the floor of our host family’s bathroom, I came to the conclusion that most of my frustration was coming from a place of “needing to feel a certain way”, of expecting myself to achieve these impossible standards of immediately adjusting and feeling a sense of familiarity. In reality, I had only been there a week! Even if it had felt like longer, I needed to give myself some grace, as reminded to me by my lovely roommate, who has been nothing but encouraging and understanding since these feelings began to emerge. 

Even now, as I write this in perfectly good condition, I still feel a twinge of homesickness, and you know what? That is okay. It is okay for me to admit that I am uncomfortable, it is okay for me to admit that sometimes I feel a little silly, and it is most certainly okay for me to admit that I might be experiencing a slight bought of culture shock.

Your 20s are the perfect time in your life for just that. For the uncomfortably, for the homesickness, for honestly just feeling awkward and unadjusted.

I am honestly grateful that I have and still am experiencing culture shock, as it has solidified the idea that I am someone who can adjust, even if it is not seamless. It just takes time.