Category: Catherine in Rennes

I am half way through the semester and a quarter way through the year, and I haven’t decided whether or not I am truly happy here. It’s tough to be happy here when thinking about the fact that my parents are back home and my friends are in Denver. However, I know that I will never forget this experience and that this time in my life is going to be one of my favorites.

It’s a strange feeling being in a place that’s supposed to be “home” for now, but not quite feeling like it yet. I wake up, walk the same routes to campus every day, go to classes, eat meals with people who are slowly becoming familiar, but I still sometimes I Feel like I’m watching my life from the outside. I tell myself it’s normal. Change always comes with a bit of discomfort, and that’s okay.

When I first arrived here, everything felt exciting: the buildings, new faces, independence. There was this rush of excitement everywhere. I could be anyone, do anything. But once the excitement wore off, reality set in.

I miss home in ways I didn’t expect. It’s not just the big things, but the little ones too. The way my house smells like pine and my mom’s perfume, the sound of my dog running to the door when someone comes home, the comfort of knowing exactly where everything goes. Here, everything takes adjusting to, even grocery shopping feels like a small adventure.

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The homesickness is quiet and sneaks up on me when I’m walking to class or when a certain smell reminds me of home, or when I scroll through photos of my friends hanging out without me. I remind myself that they’re still a part of my life and they’re living their lives too. We’re all growing in different directions right now, and that’s part of what makes this part of my life so important.

This time away from home has forced me to get to know myself better. When you’re surrounded by the familiar, you don’t always notice your own habits or strengths. But when you’re on your own, you have to figure things out. I’ve learned that I can handle more than I thought I could.

I don’t know exactly how the rest of the semester (and year) will go. I will have more ups and downs, more questions, more moments of missing home. But I also know there will be laughter, new memories, and growth that I can’t predict.

There comes a point when you get so caught up in the moment that you forget what you used to do. Once the euphoria of travelling and explorations dies down, there’s a part of me that felt as though it was missing. I couldn’t remember what normalcy felt like. I couldn’t remember what it was like to go to the dining hall with my friends or sit in the library until it closes on a random Tuesday night. I couldn’t remember having picnics at Washington Park or going to club basketball practice.

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A post shared by Catherine Baker (@catherine.goes.global)

Despite all of the normalcy I’ve lost, there are a few things that have stayed consistent. I cherish these since there’s not much else that has stayed exactly the same since leaving America. One of these activities, and my favorite, has been reading. I have failed to change my reading habits, and I think that this has allowed for my sanity to stay more intact. Since being in Rennes, I have started and completed four books, all of which have been properly logged in StoryGraph.

I have also taken to talking to my family equally as much as I did during the school year at DU. This particular habit extends to my friends as well, especially those who I am across the ocean from. Even the mere thought of being able to talk to my friends and family is enough. There doesn’t have to be any particular conversation happening, just the comfort of working silently over FaceTime is enough for me to feel comfort and normal among the chaos of a new chapter of my life.

The ability to transfer my hobbies and habits from America to France is something that is crucial to my well-being, and sometimes it can seem impossible, but I think my phone calls and obsessive reading habits are what will keep me motivated to not give up on the year-long adventure.