I’ve been shedding a lot of tears lately. Its mainly when I see a cute dog or have a moment of self-reflection and feel deeply grateful. I was in shambles on my flight to Prague. London was super gloomy and dark that evening. As the plane gained altitude, we suddenly emerged above the clouds to see a gorgeous pink sunset. The two little girls in the row ahead of me gasped so loud and were so excited the moment we popped out above the clouds. It was adorable. And it made me miss my sisters and being young and silly together. And then it had me thinking about how when I was their age, I dreamt about being 20 and getting to do super grown-up things like fly on a plane all by myself to visit my boyfriend and study abroad in Europe like my dad did. I am exactly how I hoped I would be when I was little.
I really miss my dog, Kenny, weirdly. I’m definitely not his biggest fan, but I have missed being able to pet a dog whenever I want. I got this little Paddington bear in the duty-free before my flight to Prague, and I plan on bringing him with me on my future travels. He has been very comforting to have around in the absence of a real pet.
Last week I spent almost entirely indoors. I needed to lock in on my work so I could relax and have fun in Prague. I wrote a big fat essay and published five blogs for Circe. It took me a long time to write last week’s blog because there was so much to recap. It made me sad that those fun times were over, but like, wow. My friends and I are so good at having fun all the time.
The long essay I wrote was for my sociology class, and it was about chosen family. I have loved this concept even before this class. Especially going into a friend holiday like Halloween (as opposed to a family holiday like Christmas), I loved reflecting on how much I love my friends and who I consider my family. It made me think back on freshman year of college when it was the first time I was away from my real family for an extended period of time. My family became my roommate, Maya, along with my floormates, Beckett and Shelly. Its crazy how we acted like an actual family unit. We ate meals together, debriefed each other on our days, watched TV together. The floor 10 common room quickly began to feel like my living room at home. I miss that era of my life all the time.
My London chosen family and I went to an A.G. Cook show on Halloween. I only have this one photo because I was busy dancing and having fun. Britpop!
The day after Halloween, I was off to Prague! It was so good to see Gretchen and Emma, I hadn’t seen them since Oktoberfest. And it is always fun to see Max and his friends. It was a short trip, and I feel like I only did three things; sleep, sightsee, and go out. It was the perfect amount of relaxing and exciting. I tried hot wine for the first time in the old town square, along with some ham and bread I shared with Max and his friend Oliver. It was a very Czech experience.
I don’t have much else to say about Prague except that it was completely perfect. The architecture was perfect, the sunsets were perfect, my friends are always perfect. All perfect.
The toilets are so strange across Europe. I always panic when they don’t flush immediately like I’m used to. You either have to hold down the handle or crank it multiple times, and I always forget. Just thinking about that lately.
This week I am locking in again. I have an essay and two presentations due this week, along with the usual 14 hours of my internship. I’m cooking at home every night this week too so I can get yummy tapas this weekend in Malaga, Spain, which is my next trip. I am beyond excited to smell the ocean and experience better weather than 55 degrees and cloudy.
Ava and I are grinding work in her kitchen right now and crazy fireworks are going off outside for some reason. I’m pretending like they’re cheering me on as I’m getting all my tasks done.
I’m doing my best to not be miserable during the week with this heavy of a workload. My friends and I are all in it together, since they have internships too. I sat at my favourite cafe, the Marylebone Corner for five hours today doing work. Everyone joined me for a little bit and it was the perfect balance of goofy and productive.
While I’ve done A LOT in these past few weeks/months, I also feel like I haven’t done anything. It’s a weird in between where I feel like I always have to always be doing something, and where I have to remind myself it’s okay to relax. I see people going on trips every weekend, and it makes me wonder if I’m doing everything I can.
I occasionally get this feeling, that I feel like I have to be doing something, traveling somewhere, or seeing something. After class, before class, on my off days, and weekends. I have to remind myself that part of enjoying studying abroad, and life, is taking time for yourself and relaxing, even if that’s in bed, at home, watching a movie. I have to remind myself it’s okay to not always be walking around the city. While that’s definitely important, and exciting, you don’t have to do it every day. After a while, I’ve seen and done so much in London, I don’t know what to do on my off days. Today is one of those days.
Today, I woke up late and started my day slow. I had to remind myself that it’s okay, to not have a plan, and to not always go out into the city. I decided to retake some notes and remind myself what I have to do for my finals. I still feel a void, where a voice in the back of my mind is saying to do something, even though I don’t know what to do. “You’re in London and studying abroad! go out and do something” it says. But I am doing something here at home. I’m talking with my roommates, making food, doing schoolwork, and relaxing, which are all very important to life and studying abroad as well.
I feel a common consensus is, if you’re not going out and traveling all the time, you’re not taking advantage of this opportunity. But that’s wrong. You can enjoy your time abroad, relaxing and enjoying you time, just as much as you can enjoy time abroad, traveling. It’s okay to stay home once in a while, and not worry about what you’re going to fill your day with.
I sometimes forget just how much stuff I’ve done. I feel as though I haven’t done enough, but then I reflect and rethink what I’ve done, and it’s a lot! I’ve seen all the great tourist attractions like Buckingham palace, Big Ben, and the Tower of London. I’ve traveled to the countryside and enjoyed a quiet day. I’ve spent time at parks, museums, and cafes, as well as hung out with friends. I’ve even traveled to Scotland and France! I have to remind myself that I’ve done so much, even if it doesn’t feel like it, or there’s still so much to do. While I still have a bucket list of things I want to visit to complete, it’s okay to take this day for myself.
So, I’m here to remind you, that it’s okay to take a relaxing day at home, cozying up in bed, watching a good movie. It’s okay to not have plans and focus on schoolwork. While it’s amazing to go out and enjoy whichever city you’re abroad in, there’s a healthy balance of the two. Today, I will focus on my schoolwork, and myself, and remind myself that I have great plans tomorrow and the rest of the week, that a slow day like today is needed.
DU Abroad 