The Reality of Being a Female Student in Morocco

As a disclaimer: in this post, I talk about gender in Moroccan society. I’m a short-term resident who is also a very visibly American woman. My experience will differ greatly from those of locals. What I write is entirely based on personal experience and observation through an American lens. This is not meant for informative or academic purposes. Specific Moroccan history, culture, and socio-political structures are too complex for me to wholly understand through observation alone. Keep in mind, also, that I’ve only been observing from the city I live in. This is a personal reflection, not a factual analysis of my host country.

Some pictures from a weekend getaway to Chefchaouen, also known as the “Blue City.” It’s a little difficult to access from Meknes, but it was well worth all our taxi struggles.

I made the choice to study abroad in Morocco completely on my own. It wasn’t part of any plan either. I simply found a program that seemed interesting and fit my academic needs. I’d been wanting to learn another language, so why not Arabic? It was the obvious choice, simple as that. I didn’t feel the need to share the process with friends and family until after I’d solidified my decision, so that choice was completely untouched by others’ opinions, which ended up being for the best. As it turns out, those opinions were very different from the ones I held. I received various reactions when revealing my plans, most of which expressed some form of concern for my safety or appearance. I had, of course, already considered my role as a woman when applying, but it wasn’t at the forefront of my mind until it was the subject of nearly every single reaction. “You know you can’t dress like that, right?”; “Don’t go anywhere without a man.”; “What’re you going to do about all that metal in your face?”; “Why would you choose somewhere like that?”; “You need to buy an entirely new wardrobe.”; “Do you need to wear a hijab?”; “How are you going to cover your tattoos?”

They all meant well, but now I was anxious and confused.

I was highly aware that these ideas are a little bizarre. I knew that I couldn’t wear crop tops or, and that there were no religious garments necessary. Still, the repeated comments seemed to suggest that I needed to entirely reinvent myself. Advisors and program staffed assured that, with precautions and common sense, I’d be safe. I also met with female ISA Meknes alumni who said the same. Still, facts and personal experiences were drowned in groundless worries and criticisms. I spent my summer obsessing over what I should look like, act like, and wear. I searched online for contemporary Moroccan fashion, but the results only presented various travel blogs and aesthetic Pinterest boards for tourist cities like Casablanca, Marrakech, or Fes. I think my frustration with a lack of answers added more fuel to those irrational fears.

Now, having been here for a month, I wish I’d spent my summer relaxing or studying French and Arabic. That would’ve been way more productive. People here have been friendly, and there’s less scrutiny of my behavior or appearance than I expected. The most judgmental looks I get from locals are when I describe the strict social rules we have in the United States. Acting or looking a certain way might get you some brief looks, but it’s no big deal. Conservative clothing is extremely important for cultural respect, but there’s far more flexibility depending on where you are. You could probably get away with wearing shorts or a tank top in tourist-heavy cities like Marrakech or Chefchaouen (although this is slightly disrespectful), but it’s very rare here in Meknes. Then there’s the subject of catcalling and street harassment. It happens, but for my friends and I, it’s been mostly stares or short remarks rather than anything aggressive or confrontational. Bad things happen, but those situations can be avoided. The need for caution, especially in unfamiliar surroundings, is like the caution needed in any major city back home. Add some intensity points for the language barrier, though.

This thought has me reflecting on other narratives I was fed prior to arrival, and so much of them can be applied to the U.S. as well. Aren’t we, as women, taught from a young age to be cautious? To dress “safely”? Not to walk alone at night? Don’t wear that, and don’t go there. Even if it’s wrong, it’s the norm that shapes our everyday decisions. Safety concerns for women lie everywhere, and neither the U.S. nor Morocco are the exception. Concerns for women vary from place to place, and the way they show themselves depends heavily on historical, cultural, and social context. Morocco has its form of gender disparities, and the United States has its own catalog of issues. So, who’s to say which is inherently better or worse? I think they’re too different to accurately compare. There are precautions that I take here, but none of them limit my experiences or make me feel restricted. That whole obsession with trying to reinvent myself? Total waste of time and money. Seriously. I could’ve invested those in planning a fun weekend trip or something.

I acknowledge that I fell into some prejudiced, Eurocentric views prior to departure. I’m a little ashamed, but I hope this message somehow reaches someone like me, whose genuine excitement got warped by other people’s negative stereotypes. If that other girl was in front of me right now as I’m writing this, I would grab her by the shoulders, shake her back to reality, then tell her to chill out. Then maybe we’d grab coffee or watch a movie or something. She seems cool and I think we’d be friends.

Long story short, if you’re a woman wanting to study abroad in Morocco, do it. While there are always precautions to take, it’s really no big deal, despite what others may tell you. I’ve really grown to adore this country, and I can’t imagine myself studying abroad anywhere else.

The Awkward Phase between Tourism and Immersion

I’ve heard a lot of people call the first week or so of studying abroad “the honeymoon phase.” But of course, that doesn’t apply to me. I’m the exception, and this country is, too. I’ve never been happier, and I could never want to leave.

At least that’s what I thought before I began to feel more like a student and less like a tourist. As a tourist, you wander around a new country like you’d wander around a zoo, peering into the inner workings of something foreign and exciting. You move from exhibit to exhibit from behind a metal railing or a glass wall. You’re so close, but you can’t reach inside. As a tourist, there’s a similar division between you and the local society. You create memories that you’ll treasure forever, then return home where the food is familiar, and the language is your own. In my last post, I reminisced about everything I’d seen and done during my own “honeymoon phase.” I traveled to Casablanca, Marrakech, Ouzud Waterfull, Beni Melal, and finally, my home city of Meknes. Between mosques, bus rides, pools, markets, palaces, new food, breath-taking views, hotels, medinas, and tours– there wasn’t a second to spare for homesickness. I fell in love Morocco quickly, but now, in the monotony of routine, I do have a second to spare. Hours, even, as it turns out. I’m not a tourist anymore. I fell into the exhibit, and I’m having trouble adapting to the ecosystem.

The biggest issue I’m having right now is the language barrier. There are four main languages commonly spoken in Morocco: Darija (Moroccan Arabic), French, Spanish, and Berber. Note that English is not on that list. Also note that I don’t speak any other languages (except Italian, but I’d argue that that’s even less helpful). I’ve successfully used my high school French once, and that moment was magical:

I put three Red Bulls in front of the cashier, and he said, “Soixante.”

Making sure I heard him correctly, I asked, “Soixante?”

 “Oui. Soixante.”

I put 60 Moroccan Dirhams on the counter, said “Merci,” then walked out the door. It was kind of awesome.

In all seriousness, I regret not learning more French or Arabic over this past summer. I had enough free time, but I underestimated the languages’ importance. I operated under the logic that, if I was studying both Modern Standard Arabic and Darija while abroad, I didn’t need to while at home. Now, here I am, vocally stumbling around markets, with only the ability to give blank stares and write the Arabic Alphabet. Even in my Darija class, which is solely conversation-based, I haven’t been able to say much beyond phrases like “hello,” “my name is,” “I’m from,” etc. I feel disappointed in myself, because I chose Morocco due to its stark contrast from home. I was motivated by cultural immersion, but how am I supposed to immerse if I can’t even communicate? I’m doing my best to learn, but I’d be much more successful with a head-start. Languages are difficult, and I wish I hadn’t assumed that I could just “pick it up” upon arrival.

I do, however, get comfort from the abundance of coffee here. To give you a brief idea: picture one of those newer soda machines where you push a button on a screen, rather than pressing your cup to the back of the dispenser. Now replace the soda with options like lattes, cappuccinos, espresso shots, and different brews of coffee. Well, I’ve seen quite a few of these in nicer Moroccan gyms, hotels, and similar facilities. I’ve only used one once, but it was unexpectedly incredible. Currently trying to figure out how to fit one in my suitcase. And my budget. On top of that, every other building here seems to be a café. I haven’t had a single cup of bad, or even mediocre, coffee since leaving the United States.

If you consider my RedBull anecdote from earlier, you might ask why I’m buying energy drinks whilst raving about the coffee. It’s because of one major drawback. Cafés are THE social scene in Morocco, similar to American bars. Pretty much anything associated with bars in the U.S. can be applied to Moroccan coffee shops. A space for people to gather and watch sports? Café. A hip lounge with neon lights and bustling night scene? Café. A dimly lit billiards club? It has a full espresso bar. Now, I want you to imagine someone in the U.S. walking into a bar, purchasing a drink, then immediately walking out (ignore legality for the sake of my analogy). Weird, right? The point is that coffee here is a social experience, making to-go coffee pretty much non-existent. Hence my stash of Red Bulls for 8am classes. I find it funny that I enjoy coffee in Morocco so much more, but consume way less, just because of the way I’ve been conditioned to drink it.

All meals above are lunch, except for the small skillet in the fourth image.

Morocco isn’t a country with very many unspoken social rules, which is something that I’ve both observed for myself and been told by locals. Customs around eating, however, are a big exception. Firstly, dinner is not the “big meal” here like it is in America. The time when everyone gathers to eat a large multi-course meal is lunch. It still feels odd when my roommates and I come home to a massive feast during out mid-day break, then, at night, we heat up our small, simple dinners in the microwave oven. It seems wrong, but I’m starting to enjoy it. Additionally, I’ve been called out by multiple people for both standing while eating, and not eating all of my food in one sitting. My classmates and I have started many long rants from professors by doing both. Shortly put, my American routine of walking to class with breakfast in one hand and coffee in the other, just won’t work here.

Another American norm that wouldn’t work in Morocco is driving. There are no straightforward/commonly agreed-upon traffic rules like there are in the United States. From my understanding, people just drive where they need to go and try not to hit anyone. What would get an American immediately honked at, pulled over, and ticketed, is just the average Moroccan drive to work. Motorcycles also operate this way. In the U.S., we joke and ridicule that motorcycles like to switch between being cars and being pedestrians. After living here, I will no longer be making that joke. One minute, a motorcycle will be speeding down the highway, and the next it’ll be on the sidewalk slowly cruising alongside pedestrians. When I first got here, the sidewalk motorcycles terrified me because of their proximity. But it’s so common that I’ve already gotten used to them. Pedestrians, too, follow this pattern. I’m convinced that crosswalks here are purely for decoration. If you need to cross the street, you just cross the street. If oncoming traffic is far enough away that they can stop before hitting you, then you go. If you wait for someone to let you through, or wait at a crosswalk, you’re going to be waiting a very long time. The only way to get anywhere is by jumping right into traffic. Safely.

In all, as it turns out, I’m not the exception to culture-shock after all. That honeymoon phase has faded, and now I’m face-to-face with the reality of immersion– if I can even call it that. It’s not easy, and it’s not comfortable, but I have to remind myself that that’s exactly what I signed up for. Language barriers and traffic customs aren’t just quirky anecdotes anymore: they’re part of the life I’m living. I wanted to experience life beyond that glass wall of tourism, and now that I have, I’m coming to understand that immersion isn’t just noticing differences but living them. To do that, I need to start making conscious changes. I have to speak with locals; I have to make time in the morning for breakfast and coffee; I have to adjust my typical eating habits; I have to walk into oncoming traffic. Each day, I’m learning to navigate this new ecosystem, slowly but surely noticing its patterns. I’m still absolutely in love with Morocco, even though it’s now scarier and more real. I’ve found myself in an awkward position where I’m not a tourist, but I’m not fully immersed, either. But I guess that’s just studying abroad.